From Exhausted to Empowered: A Mother’s Tale of Transformation through Biohacking

Jul 19

5 min read

Once upon a time, in a small village in Poland, I was that girl—joyful, healthy, and harmoniously naive, propelled from carefree childhood days into the whirlwind of academia as I was approaching twenty. Picture this: a young student navigating the rites of passage through what I fondly recall as ‘the blur years.’ Yes, those intoxicating days filled with parties, excessive travelling, minimal sleep, and a somewhat questionable diet that featured lots of carbs, low quality proteins (hello uneducated vegetarian girl), pastries and - above all - sea of alcohol.

But behind the laughter and late nights, there were whispers of distress signals my body kept on sending, that I dutifully ignored. A face flawed by persistent acne—not just the occasional flare-up, but an angry red cystic protest against my dietary choices. Then there was the bloating and belly pain that became my constant, uninvited companions, turning my relationship with food into a love-hate saga. A brief episode with birth contol pills that wrecked further havoc on my hormones, swelled and puffed my body alongside sending me into emotional disarray. And let’s not forget the most charming of them all: a month without a single visit from the bowel movement fairy. Yes, a whole month, and when I finally sought help, a few probiotic pills were tossed my way by a doctor, and that was it.

Emotionally, it was a rollercoaster. Always the go-getter, the top-achiever, I wore my perfectionism like a badge of honor. Saying "no" was not in my vocabulary. I juggled deadlines with the prowess of a seasoned circus performer, teetering on the edge of emotional stability, all while plastering a smile on my face. This was normal, wasn't it? Everyone around me was playing the same game, marching to the drumbeat of societal expectations, all of us too busy "doing" to notice that maybe what we're chasing isn't actually what we want...

This was the norm, the standard script for a modern woman: Work hard. Play hard. Ignore the small fires burning within.

It was all considered so normal—until it wasn't.

While the festive dust of my twenties began to settle, reality kicked in with a different kind of wake-up call. As I ventured into thirties - the realm of "adult responsibilities", a perfect storm began to brew—a storm fueled by self-imposed pressures to climb the corporate ladder, find Prince Charming, and create the picture-perfect family. Tick, tock, tick, tock... that was the relentless sound of societal expectations mixed with the inevitable ticking of my biological clock.

Fast forward through a rollercoaster of highs and heartbreaking lows, from the joy of conceiving to the profound sorrow of a miscarriage during the isolating times of a global pandemic. Alone, confused, and more determined than ever, I was a woman on a mission— a mission to become pregnant again.

Because... wasn't this supposed to be the blueprint for happiness? Get married by 30, have kids, carve out a niche in the corporate world—yet there I was, turning 31, not pregnant, feeling more adrift than ever. What is wrong with me? Why is life happening to me instead of for me? These questions haunted my days and nights, a relentless echo of doubt and confusion.

And then, as if by a stroke of luck—or perhaps sheer cosmic irony—I got pregnant. To this day I still wonder how - given under how much stress I was (plus how much stress I put my partner under with scheduled and scripted sex), and how poor my dietary choices were. But surely, this was it. Having a baby was supposed to fill the void, complete the picture, and restore the peace and contentment that seemed just out of reach.

Tell me - how many of us have fallen for this illusion? How often do we believe that the next big thing—be it a house, a job, a baby, a marriage—will be the panacea for all our worries?

Spoiler alert—having a baby did not fix the void. If anything, motherhood and the newborn phase plunged me into deeper chaos. The pregnancy was riddled with pain and constant nausea, a far cry from the glowing portraits painted by society. I embraced every cliché, from eating for two (or maybe three) to nesting with enough croissants to start my own French bakery. And as the scales tipped until I reached 15kgs +, so did my mental state, plunging from hopeful to hopeless as the person in the mirror became unrecognizable. That’s motherhood for you: a journey that was supposed to fill the void but instead magnified every crack. I was sleep deprived, emotionally unstable, and far from the image of maternal bliss that I had envisioned.

On a cold January evening, while cleaning after my son's first birthday, a stark realization hit me: I did not like the woman I had become. Actually, I kinda hated her. Overweight, unhealthy, self-conscious, emotionally unstable, devoid of purpose or energy—was this really me? My son, rather than providing the fulfillment I craved, had held up a mirror to my deepest insecurities and unresolved traumas

It was then that I decided to make a change. Unsure of how or where to start, I turned to the most logical place in this digital age we are all victims of: Google. And there it was, waiting like the holy grail of motherly salvation: Dave Asprey’s "Smarter Not Harder." And over the next three days, as my son napped, I devoured it. That book didn’t just change my diet; it changed my life.

Over the next 10 months, I plunged into the world of biohacking, absorbing knowledge like a sponge. I went to various conferences, did tons of online curses, experimented with diets, prioritized my sleep, and started light exercises. Slowly but surely, the weight began to shed, and I started to feel alive again. But as 2023 drew to a close, I realized that this was only the beginning. Physical health was just one piece of the puzzle (though waving goodbye to those last ten kilos felt pretty fantastic). Emotional and spiritual well-being were the missing links I needed (and still need to!) explore further.

And so, my journey continues, as I share my discoveries and tips with you. Biohacking has not only changed my life; it has transformed how I show up for my son and how I view myself. It has given me the tools to manage my health, my emotions, my relationships and my well-being in ways I never imagined.

Dear reader, if any part of my story resonates with you, know that you are not alone. We are all sometimes lost, influenced by what society tells us we should be doing, without questioning if it truly makes us happy. Let’s challenge these norms together.

Whether you’re a mum lost in the shuffle or just someone looking for a spark, join me on the quest of rediscovering our true selves, of things we once knew but society made us forget them, of becoming the best version of yourself.

Let’s hack our way to health, happiness, and perhaps a bit of enlightenment. Let’s find our true paths, reclaim our vitality, and savor each day with renewed purpose and joy!

So, who’s ready to reclaim their mama mojo with me? Stay tuned—because this is just the beginning!

Ready, set, thrive..!

PS. every time I read this post, tears just roll down my cheeks unconditionally... guess this diary is as much healing for me as it will (hopefully!) be also for you ♥